USE IT ONCE, USE IT TWICE

I'm back...somewhat. We've had a bit of a glitch here in our computers. John's laptop had the LCD go out in the same week the desktop fell apart. We've jury rigged the laptop to the moniter and the tower is in the shop being analyzed. You should see the mess of wires! Things are snaking everywhere. The things we do to keep things going here.

We're in the use it once, use it twice and use it once again category...then take it apart and use it all over again. It's not a bad place to be actually, and keeps us stretching in creative ways we might not otherwise. It's a pretty tiny bump in the road. I put it in the "small stuff" category.

Speaking of bumps... Lucky and I have been playing every evening. The weather has been gorgeous here. It's been in the sixties or seventies everyday, so we're using it up and then some. He's been frisky too. I love it when the temperature's drop. It's so much easier on the horses, and us too for that matter.

I decided to take the idea of colored strings and levels out of my thinking and it's working! I go out with ideas about what we can do and think, at the same time, "Oh boy!" . He loves that! I swaney. I think horses must be psychic!

Since his Circle has been kind of crunched and dented, I decided not to do any circles at all...unless he offered. He's a Left Brained Introvert, so he loves a reason to do something and straight lines. Add in cool, Autumn grasses to munch while we listen to the "silence between the notes" and we've got something much closer to being a winner for motivation.

I think I'm beginning to get the idea of how to get into his head. He only tried to grass dive twice this evening and that was more like a habit than something he was serious about, maybe because he knew we were heading for an even nicer clump of grass?

We did all kinds of walk/stop transitions, walk/gait transitions (note to self: do research on how to begin to ask for each gait separately. He has three I've counted, so far.) and even some canter. Canter does not come easily to Lucky, so I was pretty excited when he offered it! I think that was a nice little breakthrough for us.

He's still not real keen on jumping barrels, but the cavaletti is acceptable. Guess the barrels look too imposing yet. No worries. I'll just keep making the space he goes through smaller and smaller. He has found out that they move, oh my. He pushed one of the barrels clear across the arena with these loud "BONK...BONK...BONK's". I wasn't about to stop him. I think both of us were laughing the whole time. I love it when his eyes get a twinkle in them.

We did do some Figure Eight's, Falling Leaf and Weaving on the way back to the barn. We're practicing all kinds of partial Circles when we do that, so I don't think his Circle is completely broken. It's just badly bruised. It needs to go through all of it's color changes (Black and blue to green and yellow, then a nice healthy pink) before we do more OFFICIAL CIRCLES. You'll have to imagine a kind of deep echoing voice saying that.

I've also gone back to the Round Corral with him twice because he wanted to. He took me there on his walk abouts. We didn't do anything inside. I sat on a box in the middle and let him be each time until he came to me with a soft face and asked a question. The first time it took nearly 40 minutes, lots of tension and pacing, nervous sweat and standing there looking like a board. The second time it took less than 25 minutes with some tension that he relieved with rolling in the sand.

Even if we don't use it as anything else, maybe the Round Corral will end up being a kind of therapy for him, to help him deal with whatever horror he relives when he's in there.

I was very careful not to go in with him unless his face was soft and he was willing. It really surprised me when he took me there. I need to think about that. Maybe he knows he needs to face it? I think I'm putting people thoughts into it, but I'm willing to go there when he wants to and to stay away otherwise. It's going to be fascinating to see what happens. Watching him work this out will be something we'll have to do for many years, I think. We'll take as many teeny, tiny steps as we need to.

I learned about the THREE LAWS this week. 1. Put the relationship first. 2. Foundation before specialization. 3. Never ending self improvement. It goes up on my board as soon as I have a way to print it out. In the meantime we'll keep working on that together, Lucky and I.

I remain yours, Nancy...smiling at you from Oz in the Autumn

MAY THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN

I've been reading several other BLOG's having to do with horses lately. I love the "new" forms of media and the way they keep me connected. Helps me a lot when I start to feel isolated with the issues that come up when I'm playing with Lucky. I used to say that he's a complicated horse. Now I say he's complicated like ALL horses , being the amazing sentient, emotional creatures that they are.

I love that "complicated" part too. Keeps me on my toes, forces me to focus and stay in the moment. Even better, when something doesn't go the way I thought it was going to, I'm beginning to learn the fine art of patience. Patience is the core of "being in the moment". You're beginning to see the circles in all of this, aren't you?

Several of the BLOG's I've read this week have to do with frustration and the methods those writers use to understand what's happening and why. I've read a few BLOG's having to do with horses that are not "Parelli". They're interesting, but not going in the same direction, so I probably won't go back to visit and read again. I'm looking for the SUPPORT, #7 in the Keys to Success. And, frankly, I just don't want to spend the energy and time on philosophies that don't help me along my path in a positive way.

The other "Parelli" folks (including the BLOG that is from Parelli Central where students and professionals from all over the world are writing about their paths...love that!) have been talking about the way "Parelli" is bleeding over into other parts of their lives. I'm sure of that. I was "Parelli" before I was "Parelli". I recognized Pat Parelli's statement that he's an "extreme middle of the roader" because I've been telling people that for years, especially if they asked me about my religious or political views.

Being an "extreme middle of the roader" means keeping yourself in BALANCE, #8 in the list of Qualities of a Horseman. (and a bit more of the circle is showing now...Circle being one of the Seven Games. See where I'm going?) If you are a middle of the roader, you are more open on all sides because you have to be aware of what other's are thinking and doing, which means you have to be in the moment and on your toes. (kind of like a carousel, isn't it? Circles can be fun if you see it as a Game.)

And this takes me back to Lucky and Circles. I've been having a bit of a struggle with him because his Circle is broken, or at least that's the way I've been thinking of it. In his previous home (I've back tracked to two of the barns he was at because I have a tendency to be curious about the "why's" of the things that happen. Maybe it's my way of convincing myself it isn't all my fault?) the methods used to "train" were ... ummm, don't want to put negative energy into this, but I'm at a loss for words here. They were abusive.

He was tied down and lunged to the point of exhaustion, and not just physical exhaustion either. It was done intentionally to break him mentally and emotionally. I asked and they told me, proudly too! I was told "that's the way it's always been done" and "it's the best thing you can do for him". So, I had my answers and went home. But I have to admit it was hard to keep myself in my "middle of the road" state. I had to pull off at a rest stop and get myself under control before I drove home. I couldn't see well and certainly wasn't focused on driving.

I decided to do NO circles at all until I was sure he wanted to. If we do anything, it will be partial circles in the form of Figure Eights, or Weaving or just to move from point A to point B (Point to Point) in curves. We aren't going into the Round Corral at all either. That's where his so called "training" went on.

I'm in the "middles" now with our games. Neither of us is a Beginner anymore, and we aren't anywhere near Finished. If someone else were watching us it would have been about as exciting as watching paint dry (which I like, by the way. I'm an artist. I've put in my 10,000 hours and then some of intentional practice, so learning how to use all of the different stages of drying paint in my work is just plain flat out FUN!). The last several evenings I've been focused on learning how to read all of the delicate changes that Lucky goes through. He's quite adept at hiding inside.

We're practicing lots of "silence between the notes" while we work our way through this together. I've been watching Liberty And Horse Behavior again. I think it's the central key to the whole teaching system that Pat and Linda Parelli are developing for us. If you can't learn to put yourself into the hoof prints of your horse, the rest of it is meaningless. It's just things to do. And that hooks into every list that Pat Parelli has come up with...the 8 Principals, the 8 Responsibilities, the 10 Qualities, the 7 Games and the 7 Keys.

IT'S ALL A CIRCLE! And that circle includes nearly everything I'm doing these days.

I could keep going round and round with this, connecting all the dots (remember learning the definition of a circle in math? It's an infinite number of points interconnecting. How interesting!) to make my point. But reading that would be like watching paint dry...again. (see above!)

My job now? It isn't to earn my strings anymore, at least not for now. It's to become a better partner for Lucky; to be more sensitive to his needs, emotions and the relationship. It's to work on every single one of those lists and to put OUR circle back together.

I remain ,always Nancy, yours with a lighter step...smiling.

LOST AND FOUND

I think I found my MOJO. I won't go in to lots of detail with this posting. I'll add more tomorrow.

I knew Lucky was going to test me today. He did. After our last couple of sessions where he "won" the games (he realized that he could pull the rope out of my hands. UH OH. ), I decided to keep our games in the "small" category. All we did were little, easy things in his beloved pasture...his safe zone. He knows every bump, rock, tree and blade of grass out there. I was trying to set us up for success by keeping it super low key, low pressure. All we did were walk-abouts, grooming and hang time.

Today I spent the day, in between chores and work, obsessing about our game time tonight. I tried to visualize every place we would go, everything that might happen...all the good, the bad and the ugly. I was playing the game of Inner Horse-Man_Ship with myself. I saw him pulling back, pulling away, running over me, rearing and me dealing with it with all the arrows I had to pull out of my quiver. Good thing that "quiver" is set up to be a never ending place to tuck my lessons in to! I saw me tripping, falling, rolling, bouncing. You name it, I played it in my head backwards and forwards.

I also saw myself being light and graceful, dancing with him. You'll love this part. I even saw an orchestra along the drive and me on point, the way I was all those years ago. I was graceful and strong and he was my partner, gliding with me to the music. If you're going to visualize, then make it worth your while and VISUALIZE! We danced. I wanted a positive image in my head too. It's the ultimate goal, that dance.

Sure enough, he challenged me. It was a typical Lucky kind of challenge. He can be very subtle. He waited until I was standing on the mounting block and, when I turned to see where John and Apache were in the arena, he nudged me right off the block! Then he tried to pull out of my hands again. It wasn't really very serious, at least not yet. I didn't fall or get hurt and he didn't really put much energy in to his pulling either.

I ran to his side at 45 degrees, pulled on the lead enough to turn his head towards me and disengaged him, then ran backwards. It was an emergency dismount before I got in to the saddle. When I was sure he wasn't right brained I brought him to me and we played Friendly game for a while before we went on.

It was just the right kind of "crisis" to deal with. It wasn't huge or dangerous. But it was enough for him to understand that I had control, I was still "Boss". His head came down, he sighed and that was it! I had my 51 percent back. It's probably me seeing things that aren't really there, but it sure looked like relief on his face when he turned the reins back over to me. Sort of like " Whew! Glad you're back Boss! It was kind of scary out here."

I didn't push things. We did about 15 minutes of games in the arena, then we did our Point to Point back to the barn and paddock. There wasn't any orchestra except the one in my head playing sweet music. My Mojo was back. We weren't slidin' and glidin', turnin' and burnin' yet...but we sure were having fun!

I'm going to focus on keeping my "Inner Game" muscles intact and making them bigger and stronger too. Thanks Parelli! I love what we're doing together here.

More later. I am ever yours, Nancy, smiling at the way things go.

IF IT AIN'T ONE THING, IT'S SOMETHING ELSE.

My Grandpa used to say that... "If it ain't one thing, it's something else." Then he'd smile, shake his head, check his pocket watch and get on with his day. He was a dairy farmer and, later, a truck farmer who managed to make it through the Depression with his land intact, so he was one tough cookie. He was the one who taught me not to sweat the small stuff way before anyone made that into a catchy title for a book.

Well, last night was one of those "things", or maybe a "something else". The weather was gorgeous. We're in those days of September when Kansas redeems herself. It was 75, no wind and clear as a bell. Grain time was over and it was time to set up to play. Both Lucky and Apache were ready too. They were standing there at the gate, nickering and crooning to us. I love starting our evening with that kind of reward!

John got his equipment and called Apache. I went for mine with Lucky at my shoulder. He puts his head into the halter now, ready to go, with no resistance. Most of our equipment is pretty chewed up because there used to be lots of "nummies" going on. Both of our horses have high play drives and it always came out, right from the beginning, with chewing on the leads and halters. Lucky knows what's going to happen before what happens happens, so he's motivated to get out there. No more "nummies".

We stopped long enough to brush some of the accumulated dirt of the day off, spritz a bit with bug spray since the flies are at their peak and out we went, Sideways this time. He offers it now! We went out the door and this time I added in a turn and kept going along the side of the shed. That surprised him, but he was willing. The best grass is out past the shed anyway.

The whole evening was like that. We were sailing! It was all slide and glide, easy easy. At least it was until something came crashing through the woods in the field to the north of our play area. It may have been some of the calves playing, or a deer, a tree branch breaking. Whatever it was, Lucky went in to a Right Brain panic in a nano second. BOOM! Golly that can happen fast.

Usually he just freezes. It's a jump up and then FREEZE! This time he jumped up, whirled around and took off for the back of the house. That's one of his safety zones. I tried to keep up with him while I let the rope slide through my hands but he was way too fast for me. His legs are long and he can TRUCK when he needs to. I let go. He would have pulled me off my feet. No need to go there and I knew he wasn't going to go far.

Sure enough, he stopped and turned and came back. I know I'm probably anthropomorphising here, but he sure did look like he had a sheepish grin on his face. "Sorry Boss. Won't happen again." My first thought was "Nancy! You could have done better." So I zipped that one up fast. That's negative thinking. What happened happened. Learn from it.

In that way that horses have, the tension came down pretty fast. When he went back to grazing and it was nice languid bites, I knew we were good to go. I played a bit more Friendly Game with him, then we went on with our play time. We did about 30 minutes more and I was feeling pretty good about it too. We managed to find our Mojo and to get our act together and keep on keepin' on. Time to stop while the getting was good. (I'm full of all kinds of old timey sayings today, aren't I?)

We turned back towards the barn and paddock and headed off down the drive. I'd set up the cones down the drive again so we could practice our Weaving. The plan was to Weave and then to do a couple of Figure Eight's moving into Falling Leaf. I love to flow things together. Sometimes it works like a beautiful dance now, more and more often. (Wonder if I should get out the old boom box and put some tunes into the mix?)

We'd gone down the length of the cones, back again, turned and were working on the last leg when something started to crash about in the pond, behind the cedars. (Turned out it was one of the cows, but I found out about that later.) BOOM! Lucky was off again. sigh. I thought I was prepared, that I was looking out for him and he was connected enough to trust me. But the truth of it is, it startled me too. I jumped so he jumped and that was all she wrote. Whirl and gone, just like that. He went back down the side of the house just a bit further again, then stopped, breathing hard.

He waited for me. Thank heavens we're past the evasion that used to happen. I picked up the lead and we went further away. Might as well practice our Approach and Retreat tactics. We didn't come back up to the drive until I was sure he was listening and soft enough to make it home. We went on in to the paddock where John and Apache were waiting for us. This time the sheepish look was on my face!

After everyone was in for the evening, I asked John if he would help with some simulations before we went in. He had some ideas and we wanted to try them. We took turns being the horse and figured out how to, possibly, head Lucky off at the pass when something like this happens. Of course my head went blank, obviously. I needed to get some more information tattooed on the back of my eyelids! (It's gonna get pretty crowded in there, the further I go along with this.)

I think I'm going to try running at a 45 degree angle from him next time and then use the rope as a "lever", helping to disengage his back end and swing him around. We worked and worked at it until it felt natural. Ate a late dinner too. It was almost nine by the time we went in. That's OK. The evening was gorgeous!

My breakthrough? I didn't panic. I didn't cry. Instead I was thoughtful. My heart didn't pound. In fact, I don't think my heart rate even went up...at all. I even stopped myself from berating myself.

I think I'm getting the hang of this "Don't sweat the small stuff". If it ain't one thing, it's something else. And it's all something I can learn from too.

Nancy, smiling sheepishly but smiling none the less

ROUND AND ROUND WE GO

Did you ever go to one of those County Fair's where they had a carny running a Wheel of Fortune? You'd pay your quarter and then you'd get to spin the wheel. The carny would say " Round and round it goes. Where it stops, nobody knows!" Most of the time you landed on a slot that said "Better luck next time". And sometimes you'd win. The fun was in NOT knowing where it was going to take you. It was such an innocent little thrill.

That's the way it is when I take Lucky out to play. I never know what slot/horse I'm going to be playing with. And, yes, it's still fun NOT knowing. I love the challenge that always presents to me. And I've been even more hyper aware of that since our episode a few evenings ago, when he went off to his 'happy place' in the Round Corral. There's always an up side to everything, good or bad, that happens. That being hyper aware is our up side. Lesson well learned!

I've been keeping it light and easy and working at setting us up for success. Both of us came away from our Round Corral encounter with our confidence shaken. I've gone back to my plan of focusing on A game each evening and still going forward with our Patterns at the same time. Last night we worked on Circle Game with lots of Sideways review. But I also wanted to make sure my timing was better. I'd just finished watching one of the DVD's where Linda Parelli talks about the "silence between the notes". It was easy to remember for just the shear poetry of the metaphor she used... "silence between the notes".

We have a nice, big double door on the barn, so I opened it up completely and we Circled out...a new one for us. Lucky's a Left Brained Introvert, so Circle has to have some kind of reason for him to be motivated to do it. Going OUTSIDE on to the grass is a big motivator for him. That boy does love to eat! Later, when we came home, I asked him to Sidepass down the hill to get to the doors, then turned him and we backed in. There's an endless repertoire of Games for us to play for just going in and out of his barn. I love that! So does he. I'm starting to get that conversational flick of the ears towards me when we come to gates and doors now. He's so focused on what we're going to choose to do, the usual anxiety of coming and going is forgotten.

We're on the smudgy line between Level Two and Three on the ground where we're beginning to work on Level Three things...like varying gaits while playing a Game and me standing further away when I request something, being more specific. He's getting lighter and lighter in the Games we know well, but we're still working on getting it clear enough in the new Games. I've come in a bit closer again to try newer things. It makes him and me more comfortable while we work out how to break things down in to smaller building blocks.

Our breakthrough last night? He did a Sideways/Sidepass coming towards me. HUGE! The first time we did it, I kind of tricked myself and him in to doing it. But the second time we did it, and the third, I did it as if we had been doing it all along. AND IT WORKED! I got so excited I dropped the line and did a little jig right there. WOO HOO! He got excited because I did, so verbal horse that he is, he did his own " woooo-hooooo-hoooo-hooo". He stood there, ears forward, and asked me "Did I do it right? Want to do it again? Want to do something else?" Golly, I love this program. All it took was five little steps Sideways and both of us are on top and back!

So, off we went, this time doing Weaving up and down the drive (we have 99 percent hills here, so the drive is where we do long patterns) at a walk, then a gait, then a walk. He was on! He was right there with me and both of us were laughing all the way.

We went right on in to the arena and did some Walk/Stop and Walk/Gait transitions in straight lines, following the rail. Lucky loves straight lines when we work. It means we're going somewhere. And I love it because it builds our ability to move with synchronicity. It's so rewarding when you move completely together with that lovely, big horse floating right next to you, following and listening. Who knew you could do this with a horse? Blows me away every single time.

I have a mounting stand, one of those three step plastic ones, that I keep over at the arena. Sometimes I sit on it while we work, just to keep things interesting. Since one of the things I was searching for and trying to learn was the "silence between the notes", I decided to use the mounting block to do just that. I sat on it between games and waited for Lucky to relax. It was a new way for me to try that, so he was intrigued. And then it began to have a discernible effect on our play time last night.

I waited and waited and he looked at me, waiting too. As soon as he really relaxed, head down and eyes soft, instead of getting up and heading off to do something else, I reached up and gave him a massage. Blew his circuits! "Whaaaat?" He loved it. He got softer and softer, until he laid down and rolled on to his side. WOW! He was a big puddle of Luck, right there next to me, melted just like butter on a hot day. I kept softly rubbing all down his side...and he just laid there and let me. I also cried all over the Big Kahuna. Guess I had some of my own "issues" to blow off.

I felt much better and so did he. After he got up, he offered to do a Sidepass/Sideways Circle all the way around the mounting block! I'd picked up my stick to get up and he read it as a request and just went, like he'd been doing it for years, all the way around me. I sat there in neutral, handing the rope around and he Sidepassed around me! I couldn't see what he was doing behind me, but John saw it. He said Lucky never missed a beat...sailed all the way around!

I ended it right there. We were more than done. He went out with me and spent a good 15 minutes eating what ever lovely grass he wanted. When we got back to the barn, all I did was think about the Sideways down the hill and then the Backwards in to the barn...and he did it! I think my horse was reading my mind! Course, what he was reading was my intention in my body, but it still verged on being psychic.

"Round and round we go. Where we stop, nobody knows!" Looks like last night was a BIG WINNER! Doesn't get any better than that!

Nancy, smiling BIG TIME

GOING INWARD

Just when I begin to feel like I'm in my comfort zone, I find out I'm far out instead. Now that's my version of an old sixties joke (and didn't THAT just date me!), but it still does a good job of letting you know in fifty words or less what it's like to learn how to "talk horse".

My goal this week has been to read where all the little thresholds are when I'm with Lucky and to react appropriately. I'm trying to give very clear requests to him while staying at a Phase 1 too. (For anyone reading who isn't in the world of Parelli, I'm talking about the importance of listening to my horse and using the lightest of cues to communicate with him. The lighter, the better.)

I decided the best way to do that was to experiment with a combination of walk about with him leading and me playing games along the way. So when he wanted to walk the whole length of the drive with me, eating all the tasty weeds growing in the middle of the road, I said "Cool! While we're heading up the drive, how about doing it in Traveling Circles?"

Being a the lovely Left Brained Introvert that he is, he lives to eat. Apache (Left Brained Extrovert) eats to live. Big difference when it comes to the temptation of green lawn grass. Lucky did the Traveling Circles while he skimmed the grass, eating all the way. Totally cracked me up! He was just a munching and a crunching along and humming to himself. "Hhhmmmm...crunch, crunch...mrunch!" One of our neighbors happened to be driving past while we were walking along, Lucky humming and eating and walking in Circles around me and me laughing like a lunatic. He slowed the truck to watch, smiling and giving me a tentative little wave. Bet he had a good story to tell his wife when he got home!

Part of the walk about portion of the evening was letting Lucky choose the place we were going to work...Round Corral or Arena. Again, he surprised me. He chose the Round Corral. It's not his favorite place. He came to me with a lot of 'baggage' connected to his old style of training that was started in a Round Corral. I was not there to see it, so it's conjecture on my part about what was done to him. But I do know that it involved abuse, so having him choose to go there was a breakthrough for us. I felt pretty good about that.

Up until now we've been doing lots of Approach and Retreat with the Corral. We played around the outside of it for months this past Spring and Summer (It's not about the Corral...or the trailer...or whatever else becomes the issue of the day.) while I learned how to read every little threshold. I wanted it to be a place he WANTED to go to, not a place we had to go to.

I opened the gate and in we went, humming and munching along. It was one of those "Hey...look at us!" moments. I was that thrilled!

I'd hooked my goody bag to the fence, thinking that bites of carrots might sweeten the deal for him as we walked around inside. I took the lead off to take that last bit of pressure off of him. We strolled, stopping to "pat and rub" the fence. (Good thing my neighbor wasn't there to see THAT part. Would have added to his story when he got home. " Honey, I saw the neighbor lady talking to a fence and rubbing it!" Hard enough being an artist on a road of ranches and farms, much less being the lady who talks to fences!) I wanted him to see it as non threatening.

I thought we were doing pretty good too. We even played a little, doing a couple of Figure Eights and Half Circles with changes of direction. I took it too far though. I was having so much fun and was so excited about what we were doing, I forgot to look for his thresholds. Lucky's can sometimes be very subtle...a bit of tension around his eyes and mouth, tension in his neck or even his head coming down and staying there, like he's hiding. That one's easy to misread. Usually a head down means a horse is relaxed. And sometimes it does with Lucky too.

His head came down and then he just left. His eyes went blank, completely blank. I'd asked him to play Circle game with me in a confined space. I missed his signals of distress and IN he went. He was gone, to some "happy place" far away. Lucky was catatonic.

I've seen videos of Linda Parelli's horse, Allure, go inward when he was given a cookie. I think I did the same thing unintentionally. I'm not sure about that though. But I was giving him little pieces of carrot every time he tried something for me and we were in the Round Corral, a place he finds very scary. I'm guessing it was the Circle game that triggered it.

I turned away from him and took all pressure off immediately. I stood there breathing the way I do when I meditate and do Yoga, breathing from my diaphragm, in through my nose and out through my mouth. I did my best to let all of the tension out of my body too. If I'm the leader and he's looking for me to tell him it's OK, then I wanted to make it as obvious as possible that it really was OK...that no one was going to EVER frighten him in an enclosed space again.

I stood there, breathing and trying not to cry. I'd pushed too far in my excitement. My 'monkey brain' took over and the predator came out. I was appalled! But I was also supposed to be in the moment with Lucky. It was my job to correct what had happened as best I could. So I stood there and breathed and waited with my back to him.

I stood there until he nudged me. It was just a tentative little nudge, a tiny little touch, right in the middle of my back between my shoulders. He was back. And it was time to make a slow and measured retreat from our Round Corral. I wanted him out of there as soon as possible. I walked over to the gate where I'd hung the rope up, without looking at him. He was with me too. I could hear him breathing just behind my ear.

I reached up, still without looking at him. I was trying not to put any kind of pressure on him. I reconnected the lead to his rope halter, picked up my stick and opened the door while I stepped to the side. He stepped out on to the grass, took a huge breath in and walked about ten paces away before he stopped. Then he laid down and began to roll. He was blowing off the fear and adrenalin. Back and forth, back and forth. He must have gotten up and laid back down four or five times before he felt better. Thank heavens for the systems Nature puts in place to help horses change their blood chemistry!

We strolled back...no games this time. It was just a nice, easy walk back to the barn and paddocks. By the time we got "Home" the sun was down and the full moon was up. I've never been so glad to take my partner home! Meditating while he went inward helped me to stay centered so I could stay calm, but I still felt terrible.

I'm going to have to work on that "monkey brain" thing. I'd prefer not to repeat the turning inward again.

I think sometimes that when I make that kind of mistake, I learn at a deeper level. It's in my bones now and tattooed on the back of my eyelids (another Parelli saying). I will know better the next time and see it coming from much further off when Lucky reaches one of those thresholds. And this evening I'm getting my Liberty and Horse Behavior out again. It's time I rewatched that series.

My new goals? I'd like to keep us 'outward' and going forward, keeping it fun!

I remain ever yours, a recalcitrant Nancy, smiling (especially when I think about my audience driving by in the truck!)

RAINY DAY

It's raining today...long, soft, rumbling, grumbling thunderstorms. My kind of September rain; not too serious but no stop to it either. When I was a girl, I took long walks in this kind of weather, much to the consternation of my Mom. "Silly girl! Walking out in a thunderstorm...what were you thinking?"

I wasn't thinking. I was very young and in love. I was in the moment.

This morning, while I was out with my herd doing chores in the rain, I was in the moment too, horse style. I'd decided to keep them up in the paddock. This was no light and easy rain. When the thunder and lightening came in, it REALLY came in. And if I'm out there with them they'll come in to stand in the big shed with me instead of standing on the top of the hill, making themselves in to lightening rods.

I was cleaning, they were chewing and watching me to make sure it was safe to be inside instead of out on the hill, where their instincts told them to go. Ever so often it would really BOOM!, and they'd stop and check in again. " Still alright?" Amazing! They're really beginning to believe me when I say "Yup. Alright."

When I was sure the worst part of the storms had passed, I decided it was OK for me to go inside. I walked around to make sure all buckets were full, shed and stall clean, hay out, gates closed. And I stopped to check on them too.

I leaned on the shed doorway, over to the right, and watched the rain drip off the trees and run down the hill to the pond. Beautiful! And then Lucky stepped forward and stood next to me, steaming and dripping with rain. His head came down to my level (he's 16 hands high and I'm 5'4", so he had to come down a ways) and we relaxed together, watching. And Patch stepped forward to, on Lucky's other side, his head coming down to match ours.

I don't know how long we stood there. It didn't matter. We were in the moment, together, being.

Maybe that's the best kind of "training" session there is...just being...together.

It doesn't get any better than that!

Nancy, smiling at the way things go!