The horse's pasture to the East...

Saturday, January 27, 2018

MAKING A CHANGE, well except for chocolate...

I am making some changes. I've been accused, by someone I care for a great deal, of being addicted to my phone and devices. That hurts. I've spent the majority of my life, 78.7% of my life on this Earth to be exact, without access to a smart phone, iPad, or even a computer. 

I began using my computer and a dial up service to learn more about subjects I was passionate about ; fine art, design, writing, dogs, horses and donkeys. I've used the internet this past year to learn how to generate an additional income stream so I can keep my horses to the end of our circles together. It's a commitment I made to them when they came home. I found Lucky and Apache by making contacts via the Internet. 

I've used the internet to access a learning system and to find instructors for a system of training to use with my horses. We live in an area where there are no close in trainers. I've met people from all over the world with the same love for horses through the use of my phone and computer. And my phone has become a mobile system for security since I work here more often by myself. If something happens I need it to be able to make a call for help.

I don't like being accused of being an addict to anything except being alive. There are addictive behaviors in my family to drugs and alcohol. I even have three convicted felons in my family who were caught, tried and jailed for making and selling drugs. 

I have lost three friends to addictions that killed them and several others to suicide by the use of drugs. I have, purposefully, spent my life having nothing to do with alcohol, drugs or other addictive behaviors for that reason. I will not follow that path.

But a seed of doubt has been sewn in the worst possible way, in an extremely toxic way. Someone I care for a great deal cussed at me and accused me of just that, of being addicted to devices. Truth is I do carry my phone in a holster at all times. I spend the majority of my life alone, working outside with my dogs, horses and donkey. I hike out to paint and sketch. I did that without a phone and was injured. Thankfully I was not at home by myself that day. What I took away from that was BE CAREFUL. TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. USE A PHONE AS SECURITY.

That makes sense to me. I will still carry my phone in the holster but I will not answer it nor will I use it except during an hour every day to answer text messages, catch up with social media or read the news. I will write here and participate in an online coaching class with an instructor.

The irony in all of this is that I've had fun, documenting my life here with my animals. I've used my cameras to make fun of my antiquated, so very twentieth century way of approaching a world that seems to be run more via an ether developed by some extremely creative people, that is virtual rather than real. It's funny! It really is. I've kept an online journal via this blog and other social media that I have truly enjoyed. I have friends, albeit people I may never meet in person, from every continent in the world except Antarctica. 

I love having pen pals. I've done that since I was a girl way, waaaaayyy, back in the ice ages when children went outside to play all day and no one checked on them. If my chores were done I was free. I wondered around completely by myself in the woods, swimming in a small lake close to our home, riding my bike on country roads or going for hikes. I'd spend hours sitting on a rock or log drawing pictures, making up stories or just watching clouds or the wind move leaves. 

My grandmother used to say to me, " Go outside. Find something to do. " and that was that. I did. I went and never thought a thing about it. I tried to give the same freedom to my children too. As hard as it was to let them go out in to the world without me checking up on them, I began that process when they were little and let it be. Instead we gave them the skills to take care of themselves and let them GET BORED. It was up to them to figure out how to fill their days, once their chores were done. My theory was that getting bored gave them the opportunity to think creatively. We went for long periods in their lives without a television. There was no computer at home until they were finishing high school. And it is still the same here, now.

It worked too. Both of my sons are excellent writers, creative problem solvers who live independent lives. They set goals and reach for them, travel all over the world and live with passion and compassion. 

We do not have cable and we have limited access to the internet EXCEPT through our phones. I'm cutting that off too except for specific purposes. The only way to make a change is to MAKE A CHANGE. If indeed I am addicted, I guess I will find out. 

I will probably write here more because I am going to miss the people I interact with. There's a lot of really nice folks in the world. Every single one of them, the good, bad, ugly or beautiful have been an important part of my story. 

I'll come back later and interact more when I'm certain there are no addictive behaviors. 

Here is a link to an article I read this morning with basic information on how to change your behaviors when it comes to devices.

I hope I set that up right. I can't help wondering how I could be accused of addictive behaviors when I have so many challenges using technology. How interesting!

I am off to do chores and wonder the hills, alone with my dogs and horses.

I am, ever yours, Nancy, pondering


Linda said...

Interesting. I have often wondered if I, too, am addicted. I was at a play last night and I checked my phone at intermission. (yes, there was a text request from my daughter.) My father-in-law told me a story in 2014--just days before he died (his death a few days later was a shock.) He said that he'd been to a play, and was sitting in the balcony. At intermissions, he looked down and saw everyone with their phones all lit up and looking down into them. He said it made me very sad. So, when I'm doing the exact same thing--like last night--I remember his words. I should really leave my phone in the car so that I'm not tempted. Good luck!

Susan Carlin said...

Just because someone was loud or abusive doesn’t make them right. Perhaps just controlling. You have put out only love through the ‘devices.’ No one else has complained. Please consider.

John said...

I was working in State College PA this week, doing a three day training. When I got there, I noticed my I-phone had no bars. They said the ATT tower was down, and it was down for two days. I had to use my hotel phone to call Janene, and set up a way for her to find my in an emergency. What I got out of this was I am now really dependent on the cell phone. Janene and I have decided to set up a day a week (Sunday) without devices.

Nancy, smiling! said...

This is a real hot button topic. I'm glad I wrote about it. We went to a favorite place to eat out, our pay day treat to ourselves, this weekend. A young family of four were seated at the table next to us. Mom reached in to that bag all parents carry with them when they have young children, and pulled out iPads for the little girl and boy. Then she and her husband sat there with their phones. I was so disturbed by it that my meal lost it's appeal. They were all so disconnected from each other! Going out to eat or sitting down for a meal was an integral part of life when my children were growing up. It still is for John and I. It's when you get to tell stories about the day, talk about issues and problems, have debates. You practice good manners and enjoy the process of eating a well presented meal. You can tell my twentieth century ethics are showing here, can't you?