The horse's pasture to the East...

Thursday, October 22, 2020


 “What a beautiful morning! It’s going to be a perfect day. “ My mantra every single day, 365 days a year, no matter what the weather is like or what is going on ... this is my mantra. I say it to myself when the wind is blowing at 50 MPH and it’s raining sideways. I sing it when it’s snowing or so hot it feels like someone just threw a wet, wool blanket over me and every step is an effort. I say it when my joints ache, when someone I love has died, when the bills have to be paid or when there’s a pile of fresh, hot, chocolate chip cookies waiting in the kitchen for me. “ What a beautiful morning! It’s going to be a perfect day. “

Something I’ve discovered this year and knew in every practical sense of the word in years past is that the only person I can change is me. I can love the people around me, and for the most part I do. Or I can watch them with interest while they melt down because I won’t follow their edicts. 

I am not responsible for other people’s choices. I can like them the way they are or walk away because I’m not interested in spending my time with them. All I have to do is take care of myself, stick to my ideals and let  the rest of the world have theirs. 

I love my life. I always have. my family has always been my first and most absolute priority. As much as I love being an artist, it doesn’t come close to being a wife and best friend to my husband, John. As much as I’ve worked on and attained by being a designer it can’t compare to the love I have for my adult children and amazing grandchildren. I could care less about a pretty living room unless someone has paid me to help them. And truth be told, I don’t really care much anymore about that either.

Our society has an odd attachment to money. Don’t get me wrong. I like paying my bills on time and having good food on the table. But putting money ahead of family? NO. I don’t care about status. I don’t care about power. I discovered, early on in my life, what that kind of fixation does to a family. I’ve learned that I can nearly always find a creative solution to most of my problems without big gobs of money. I like my quiet, simple life.

2020 has been a year of revelations. I’ve learned about the definition of true friendship. Friends are the people and animals who like me the way I am without censorship. It’s the way I’ve felt about the friends I have for all these years. Unfortunately that isn’t always reciprocated. At first I cried, actually grieved, for the loss of those friendships. I connect deeply to people and animals. And, at first, I asked questions about why their feelings towards me would change so quickly. Then I accepted them, truly accepted them exactly the way they were and felt and I let go.

True love means you are willing to let go and let be and enjoy the good memories. 

I admit there is some part of me that wants to make snarky comments here, but I’ve learned to let that go too. As much fun as it is to flay people with words, it isn’t productive or kind. I’m not interested in falling to their level. 

The world feels broken to me. It’s gone down a dark path, a place that feels like self destruction. I am sorry for that, but not because I am responsible for it in any way. All I can do is take care of myself, love my family and friends, in fact celebrate them as exactly who they are and take care of the souls dressed in feathers and fur, who live here with us. 

My pledge to myself : I will help the people who need and want me to help. I will keep my environment as clean, chemical and trash free as possible. I will feed my family and souls with what I grow and preserve and what I can afford to buy. And I will end every single day by saying, “ What a lovely day it’s been. I am so lucky! What a beautiful night sky. Tomorrow I get to try again. I am happy. “

Words are true power and so are your actions. I am closing circles this year and letting the rest go, starting new circles. And I will stand my ground when it comes to my beliefs. And if I find irrefutable information that changes my mind, I WILL CHANGE MY MIND and not because it is the fashionable thing to do or because society or the media dictates that change to me. 

My body, my life, my path, my space, my choice. 

What a beautiful morning! It’s a perfect day. I am so happy to be here exactly as I am. I love you World, exactly as you are! Too bad I can’t make a giant pile of chocolate chip cookies and give them away to all of you, just to make you smile.....

I am, as always, Nancy, smiling....

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