I PLAYED AGAIN!

I remember watching a video, a few months back, put out by Jerry Williams, 3 Star Parelli Professional. In it he talks about taking responsibility for how your horses behave, taking responsibility for how you as the human partner and leader behave. Well, something clicked for me last night. I woke up with that idea in my head this morning. If being hurt was not their fault but mine, then I better get my act together and REALLY take responsibility for what happened.

I've reread Dr. Stephanie Burn's book MOVE CLOSER, STAY LONGER and then I did it again because I didn't pay attention. I didn't absorb what I read. In it she talks about her journey while learning how to play/work and live with horses and the program she put together to deal with fear. She talks about how your brain, sly devil that it is, will take over and try to save you from yourself! Uh huh. Mine does that all the time. It's an expert at helping to find ways to procrastinate, to do other things that are easy for me to do ... safe stuff like cleaning the house, cleaning the barn, pulling weeds ... instead of doing the things that help me to grow and change, to get outside the comfort zone where it's scary. 


Well, today I decided to take responsibility for breaking my own pattern of going right brain. I did everything backward. Instead of cleaning the house, taking my shower after working out, neatening and tidying up all the messy places, I made sure my arm brace was off and then I surfed the net, watched silly YouTube videos, ate some chocolate, went out for a walk WITHOUT MY ARM BRACE and then I went into the paddock with the horses and we played together.

Did you catch that? WE PLAYED TOGETHER! I did it, I did it, I really, really did it ... YES! I REALLY DID IT! I'm sitting here with a pack of ice on my achy arm and typing left handed, but I did it. I even moved the carrot stick from my left hand to my right and back again. And, oh, the sighing and licking and chewing on their part...the laughing and crying and "Ow, ow, ow!" ing on my part. The sun is out and I played for just five minutes with Lucky and Apache ... and I feel like a million bucks!

I've asked for help to, from friends of mine, to help me through this process of banging the dents out of my confidence. I'm learning how to unbend and ASK. I'm pretty good at humble pie now. In fact, it tastes pretty good!


Other things I've done today :
1. Top of the list is playing with Lucky and Apache for five minutes
2. Brushed Miniver with my right hand
3. Made the bed, lifting the heavy top cover, with both hands
4. Filled the water bowls and buckets, mostly using my left hand but supporting it with my right (water is heavy and moves around)
5. I've spent the whole day with my arm brace off! (You'd be surprised at how hard that is to do when you've become used to the protection and support it provides.)
6. I trimmed some of Joe's hair off with a scissors, using my right hand to do it.


Every day it just gets better and better! WOOHOO! I'm back in the saddle again...metaphorically speaking.


I am ever yours, Nancy, doing a happy feet dance, ice bag and all!