IT HURTS SO GOOD

So I was wondering around in my head today, trying to decide what to write. It isn't that I'm not inspired. It's more like I'm overwhelmed. When you are working on desensitizing a horse to stimuli, you flood them with information until they realize it isn't going to kill them...until they relax. Horses think that nearly everything is going to kill them. Not so long ago, in geological terms, that would have been true too.

I don't think everything is going to kill me. But sometimes my circuits do get just a bit blown with everything that I'm learning. My head feels like it's bulging. I wish I could remember who it was that wrote "it hurts so good". It's a lyric in a rock and roll number from my oh so distant past. And it explains exactly how I feel today...sort of dreamy and blown away with everything that I'm doing.

I'm in that category of folks that is, unfortunately, growing. No job and too much education. Not so bad if you love to learn...and I do love to learn! Pinches a bit in the pocket book, but that keeps me motivated. I heard an artist once say that they do better when they're really hungry. I agree. It takes my creativity and motivation up several notches.

You're wondering what this has to do with horses? Everything, at least for me. When I am with them, just being or playing games (ala Parelli) or doing chores, my creativity, my ability to visualize, to tell a good story or to draw or paint goes up at an exponential rate. Sometimes I feel like the Mother Ship is up there doing a huge download in to my head. " Auggghh...I'm bulging here. Give me a chance to digest and assimilate."

I've started keeping pads and notebooks out in the barn with me because I loose a lot of what comes to me by the time I get in here to the keyboard. My sons have been helping me with tech possibilities, but we're living in the boonies here, so our connection to the internet is iffy at best much less writing from my dusty barn or 'off the beaten path' pastures. I counted this morning. I have six full notebooks out there, covered in cobwebs and dust. I keep them in the area where I fix grain, so there's a bit of horse slobber in the mix. (Somehow apt, don't you think?) Tech stuff, as much fun as it is to learn how to use, will have to wait. No worries. I'd rather spend my time grooming or playing or getting dirty.

Lucky and I danced again last night. We stayed out until after dark, playing in the arena, exploring the back fields. When we go on a walk-about now, it's always one that I control. He takes me but I tell him how to get there (Traveling Circles, Falling Leaf, Weaving, Figure Eight's, Point to Point...anything that I can think of to keep him guessing.). Slowly, slowly I'm figuring out how to BALANCE (that's #8, Qualities of Horseman) his needs and mine. I'm not as intimidated by the TOOLS (#3, 7 Keys to Success) as I was and rarely get tangled anymore. Lucky, Left Brain Introvert and funny horse that he is, has learned how to step on the rope so he doesn't have to go. "Oh no! I can't move. I'm stuck. Guess I should keep eating." I laugh a lot when I'm with him. No wonder I feel so good out there!

No grass diving last night. That's a first for us! He put his head down to eat when I got us to our destination, playing whatever game we were focused on. His Traveling Circles were especially soft and easy. We floated down the hillside to the backyard. He did three Circles for me, no rope tangles or sticky feet either. Best part was that he stopped to touch me before he went for his reward...the lovely, long, silky grass under the Broken Oak (the tree we named our place after).

By the time we reached his paddock, it was dark and the moon was up and Lucky was almost purring, like one of the barn cats he loves to hang out with. When we stopped in the paddock, always at the same place, he let out this long, soft siggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh. I'm cheating when I play with the word like that, but it was so soft and long and perfect, it's the only way I could write it out.

I took his halter and lead off, but he was so hooked on he didn't want to stop, didn't want me to leave without him. So I didn't. I stayed and gave him a massage, scratched him on his itchiest spots. By that time John and Apache were in and Willow was out of her shed stall, asking for her share of the attention too. It was just about as perfect as an evening can get.

Afterwards I had a hard time getting myself to slow down so I could sleep, my head was so busy. Lucky, idea generator and initiator of Love, Language and Leadership.

"Whoooo ahhh!" ( a line from movie that I can't remember the title from, but remember the phrase from. Helpful, aren't I?) Are we having fun yet? All the time people...all the time.

I am ever yours, Nancy with the bulgy head and bugs in my teeth...from smiling, of course!